Things I Learned Travelling Alone

I've always loved travelling alone, be it a short bus journey or a ferry to another country. It's a way to wipe the slate clean, assume any identity you wish (not in a weird The Talented Mr Ripley way) and learn more about yourself by observing others. Now that I am working part time, I have more freedom, but am almost always with my almost three year old. I've seen so much of what Co Cork has to offer in the last three years, but always with my side kick in tow, so I was very excited to get the chance to go to Brussels for a weekend in May to visit a friend. I flew from Cork to Amsterdam and took the train to Brussels, a wonderful trip along canals and walkways with beautiful summer houses and allotments dotted along the route. The weather was beautiful, leisurely cyclists were everywhere just making me feel good by watching them, I was travelling light with a small back and feeling free.

For entertainment and enlightenment on the train, I had downloaded lots of TED Talks on random subjects. I watched presentations on creative design, outer space and the human psyche and thought about life, well my life mostly. And here is what I learned on my trip:

• The power of time off

There is an amazing scheme available to me at work that allows me to apply to take a block of unpaid leave. For the last two years I have taken a six week break. Apart from a weekend away, I've spent the time living the slow life - cooking good meals, gardening, visiting family and just not rushing anywhere. Not that I live a particularly fast paced life normally, but I work to live so the less time I can spend commuting and in an office, the better for my health and my head. My earnings are dismal in comparison to a few years ago but my money seems to go further.

• The power of self-reflection and anonymity

Once of the biggest challenges, I found, becoming a parent was the loss of [my perceived] identity and becoming suddenly more visible in public. Simple things like having to navigate a buggy on a busy street makes me feel unmoveable, awkward and at the mercy of others. My smiley toddler who says hello to everyone attracts attention that sometimes I don't want. Travelling alone I can move quickly and silently, wear different clothes because I am more lightweight and make decisions based on my own desires alone. It also helps me appreciate the joy of my normal life - the fact that I am never lonely because I have an exuberant child who will accompany me to the ends of the earth, even if it is hard work at times.

• 100 reasons not to be negative

Terrible things happen to us all, more to some, and it's healthy to react emotionally during difficult times but positivity is such a warm and contagious trait to have. I'm not sure if it can be learned or if it is innate to a person, but the more time I spend around negative people the more I see how your attitude to life determines whether or not you will be happy. How awful it must be to be miserable most of the time. Sometimes it's better to look out, rather than inwards, and not put yourself at the centre of the universe.

• Sometimes being in a crowd can be beautiful

I'm usually trying to find the quiet place but being in a busy city on a fine day with music playing and festivities surrounding me just made me love people, all so different and interesting.

• Olives are a great portable snack!

I never leave the house without food and always looking for filling foods that don't need refrigeration. Hurray for olives. And I discovered cream cheese stuffed peppadew peppers. Oh my god.

• Sometimes, do nothing

It's harder than it seems and it's why I still haven't bought a smart phone. It's nice to be truly idle sometimes, just looking around and taking it all in.

• Everyone looks fabulous in the sunshine

Clothes get more colourful and experimental and everyone seems so much happier.

• People care about me

I expected to slip away for the weekend and return as if nothing happened but I was pleasantly surprised when people made contact to see how I was getting on.




So if you are feeling at a bit of a hiatus in life, and have the freedom to get away for even a day, go on a little adventure by yourself and hopefully you'll come home feeling better for it.

Promoting Local Organisations

I love browsing informative websites that are gardening and nature orientated, but find myself constantly drawn to British organisations. Their standard is not to be denied and the country has a long history of conservation and study but it suddenly occurred to me that it is ridiculous I am not automatically seeking out Irish resources that are dealing with my native environment. I became aware of it while I was browsing The [British] Wildlife Trusts website and I thought, maybe there is an Irish Wildlife Trust? And of course there is!

Similarly, I’ve always admired the community gardens springing up around the UK. We spent a weekend in Bristol a few years ago and were amazed walking through the public parks to see vegetables growing among the flowers. I since discovered the Incredible Edible Bristol movement through an excelled TED TALK by one of the founders Pam Warhurst. Then while out for a drink with a friend one night, she introduced me to a woman who was just about to embark on a community garden in Knocknaheeny/Hollyhill, Cork City, which is now going strong. It made me realise that this was happening in my own locality. This year I learned that a community garden had opened in Dunmanway, the town I attended secondary school in. A GIY group meets every month in Passage West holding practical demonstrations such as apple pressing and Indian cooking and visits to local polytunnels and gardens. Cork is full of interesting people doing fascinating things.

An enlightening little publication that has taken off this year is The West Fork, a supplement with The Southern Star newspaper that features profiles on Cork food producers, from those who harvest the raw materials to the people who create the finished product. The most recent edition introduced me to specialist businesses such as Roaring Water Sea Vegetables who farm seaweed and sell it as a dried product and Ruby Harte Floral Design in Drimoleague who can create an edible bouquet for you.

Buying all local produce is undeniably expensive but maybe do as I have and start replacing one big brand product with a local variety every week. So the next time I go to buy a supermarket own brand box of biscuits, I'll stretch the extra euro and choose a box of Régale Cookies Of Character that are handmade in West Cork using Clonakilty free range eggs and local unsalted butter among other local ingredients. Or I'll bring my salad to the next level by trying some Macroom Buffalo mozzarella, from the only milk producing buffalo herd in the country. Cork is vibrant and innovative and it is a joy to take an invested interest in promoting my local economy. 

 

There's No Such Thing As Bad Weather..

...only bad clothing. This is one of my favourite sayings because being realistic about the climate that you live in is a big step towards a more enjoyable life. Apart from extreme conditions, which thankfully are not a major worry in Ireland, getting out and about should not be hindered by the weather. 

I am very passionate about rain gear. Every one of us, adults and children, should own a proper rain suit and wellingtons. In fact we should all own two sets of each so that one can be kept at a second location (vehicle/work/school). We live in a damp climate - accept it, prepare for it and enjoy it. Keep a bag in the car with a mix of clothes for everyone - warm jacket, rain gear, hats and sun cream! September is exactly the kind of month where you can get any type of weather. We headed to Fota early one morning last week and I couldn't believe how cold it was. Thankfully there were a few jumpers in the car since last winter (never empty the car of clothes no matter now messy it gets!!!) so we were able to wrap up and walk on.


Always by the back door:





Biking in the rain:





Fishing in the rain (that's a painted ray of the beach in Borth, Wales - he went back alive):





Walking in the rain (as you can see I never leave home without my trusty yellow (orange?) rain coat):





Playground in the rain:





Gardening in the rain:





So suit up, boot up and get out!

Happy World Breastfeeding Week

Our first brelfie!

I've always had great experiences nursing in public and conversing about it, even now that my son is almost two years old, but it is still glaringly obvious how low the numbers of Irish breast fed babies are, particularly beyond the first few weeks of age. Instead of placing the blame on the mother, it is important to acknowledge where the problem begins, and that is in the lack of education and awareness about the realities of breastfeeding. 

When I was pregnant, a question I was often asked was if I was going to breastfeed. When I said yes, almost everybody told me a negative story, whether it was about their own experience or of someone they knew. That breastfeeding was extremely painful was the most common complaint but the other common denominator was that none of the mothers were prepared before the birth, but had "hoped" to breastfeed. Of course, when your baby is unsettled and seems to be at the breast constantly, if you don't know that this is normal infant behaviour, who could blame a mother for availing of the free bottles of formula that are handed around without question in the maternity ward? After all, she has probably been misinformed that she does not have enough milk.

I think we can all agree that feeding the baby is probably top priority when it comes to the list of jobs that comes with caring for a newborn. I suggest that on your first maternity visit to the doctors, a straightforward fact sheet about breastfeeding should be given to every mother-to-be. This fact sheet should highlight the mechanics of breastfeeding (supply and demand, correct positioning and latching), realities of breastfeeding (cluster feeding, frequent feeds, length of feeds) and the benefits of breastfeeding (reduced infection/allergies/obesity/SIDS in infants, reduced breast and overian cancer/post natal depression in mothers and it also helps your uterus return to normal size more quickly). 

Currently most references made to breastfeeding in the media are either to preface a baby formula advert or some hysterical story about a mother who nurses an older child. It's time to start treating breastfeeding as a basic, essential part of a child's life rather than as a lifestyle choice.

Community Spirit and Buying Local

I've been thinking a lot about "community" the last few years - the almost unseen efforts made by ordinary people to keep a town or village alive. Suddenly I realise those pretty flowers in the middle of the roundabout didn't grow wild, those educational talks didn't organise themselves and that farmer's market didn't appear out of thin air. Did you ever wish a certain group or class was operational in your area without realising that maybe you should be the person to make it happen? Many of us are now living away from our family and the friends we grew up with. We have to create our own community support, and this can be difficult. A mutual hobby is an almost effortless way to meet like minded people. I've always held the belief that a single hobby goes a long way to enriching a life. It gives you something to feel useful about, something to talk about and something you can teach others about. Overall, it can give you confidence and that spills over into other aspects of your life.


How can you find out what is happening in your area?

Think small. The library is a good place to start, the local area/church newsletter or the noticeboard in the local supermarket. An internet search probably won't be the most effective way but maybe your town or village has a Facebook page that keeps up to date with local goings-on. The amount of [often free] interesting events organised might surprise you.

What prompted this post? Well I was in my local library recently and the librarian, on seeing that I had checked out a book on healing gardens, gave me a flyer for an upcoming talk in a local hall. The event was organised the GIY fraction in Passage/GlenwoodMonkstown and the speaker was Madeline McKeever of Brown Envelope Seeds, an organic seed producing company that operates out of Turk Head, near Skibbereen. The subject was seed saving - something I have started experimenting with. It couldn't have come at a better time for me. Having a young nursing toddler I am happily limited in my socialising. If given the choice, I'd much rather meet people at something interesting and educational and be home before ten! There was a great turnout of at least 50 people, much more than expected, we donated a few euro each, got tea and cake and were able to buy locally produced seeds after hearing from the grower herself about her history and methods.

It's one thing going to your local garden centre or co-op and buying a bunch of seeds - the choice is overwhelming and the prices can be cheap - but to listen to someone speak about how they choose, grow, nurture, harvest and clean the seed in your local environment is far more inspiring to be a part of. It makes sense that the seed should thrive in your back garden as it was reared in the same conditions. I'll let you know in a few months!

So what did I buy? Firstly I bought two varieties of cherry tomato - Sungold Select and Black Cherry. Since I am still obsessed with beetroot, I had to expand beyond the comfort of the popular Bolthardy and bought a pretty breed called Chioggia which is pink skinned with pink and white flesh in a concentric circle design. Lastly, I looked ahead to the winter months and bought seeds for a salad leaf that any reader of Joy Larkcom will be familiar with - Winter Purslane. By all accounts it grows like a weed and is frost hardy, making it sound like an ideal source of vitamin C. Putting them into my seed box and seeing all the cheap multi packs of seeds I've bought over the years made me slightly wish I was starting off again so I could buy local as much as possible. I'd buy less but hopefully increase the quality of my seeds.

If you want to start buying Irish produced seeds, check out Brown Envelope Seeds and Irish Seedsavers. If you know of any others, let me know!

Why Frugal Living Works For Me

A constant state of dissatisfaction is, I think, a pretty accurate description of today's quintessential sedentary 9-5 urban modern life. In Ireland, where we have freedom, opportunities and safe living, people are still not truly happy.  And you might be surprised to discover the kind of people who are happiest. In my experience, it is not wealth, social status, beauty or anything tangible that increases a person's happiness.

But we are all different and have to do the best with what we've got, so everybody's path to happiness will be different. For me, free time is my ultimate goal. That is time to do anything I want, whether that be to do nothing at all. I am lucky to work in a job that allows me to apply for unpaid leave so keeping my living costs down means I can afford to work less. I have been working a four day week for six months now. My expenses are still the same from when I was working five days (slightly greater in fact as I now have a child), and I am still saving money. My job is not a high paid job. I pay rent of €350 a month. I pay for part time child care. I have a car (which I bought for cash with savings).

I began to look at purchases in terms of time. I see a beautiful pair of boots in a shop window and I want them. I look at the price - €80 - or one day's work. So it's the boots or a day off work. The day off wins and I walk on.

I just don't buy things anymore. By things I mean non-perishable items (not food/medicine/cosmetics/cleaning products/fuel - of course you can make frugal choices with these life necessities too). It took me a while to get to this point. I built up my possessions for the first few years that I started working - long lasting pieces like a guitar, cooking appliances, reference books, a range of jewellery, good clothes and shoes. But once you get to a certain level of personal and household items, you just don't really have to buy much anymore. What I need was a reason. Becoming a mother was the driving force, but I had been thinking about paring down my lifestyle for a while. My time is everything to me now. When you wear the same clothes for years, they eventually come back into fashion!

Simplicity is Freedom

It's the dilemma of modern families across Ireland - how to balance work and family life in a way that you can meet your expenses and the needs of your children. Tradition suggests that a couple should marry, buy a house and have children, in that particular order. Unfortunately, for many, that now translates to being tied to a job to pay for an expensive house in a location that no longer suits your new lifestyle as parents. And if you are not committed to a mortgage, do you choose where to live because you can get a higher paid job, more amenities, shorter commute, cheaper area? How can a family thrive if both parents have to work five days or more a week? Less time means you make bad decisions - fast food, buying things you could make, looking for the quick solution, compensating for time lost with your children by lavishly spending money on them. Then there is the guilt and emotional strain.

The massive personal choice that the developed world offers to us brings freedom and potential for happiness but also so much complication and stress to our lives. We have so much available to us but is it really making our lives better? I hear so much negativity around me every day, so much illness and stress. Even though the choice I'm making is a good one, is it the best one? Have you ever spent hours online comparing products and agonising over them? Each one looks good, but which one is the best!? By the time you've finished, you've forgotten what the first one was like. It's not our fault, we are part of a bigger machine. The machine of society that we design. The chicken and the egg situation?

Rather than work a full week to have more disposable income, I would champion less work, less money and more time. I believe that no person, no matter what your situation, should work a 40+ hour week. Part time work for every one means that no person should be without a job, and all the work will still get done. It would cut down traffic, work related stress, sick days.

If only it was that simple... I realise that everything would have to change, cost of products and services, the way businesses are run....

But still, my dream is a three day week for workers everywhere!